if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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