what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize