Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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