don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
love makes seman taste better
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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