Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
