there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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