i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize