All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
