I'm really into asian looking animals
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
