You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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