I'm drive I can fine osifer
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
