I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She's the barista slut.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
