It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I FOUND THE LEGS
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
