i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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