??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
