wat bout pragnant strippers??
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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