I'm eating all of the evidence.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
organizing the empties. That sober.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
