...so i touched it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
