The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
His hands were made for my vagina.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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