You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
