Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
