I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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