hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
