Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
