Welp...herpes.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize