soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
