; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
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We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
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TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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