i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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