he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize