he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I need to calm my uterus...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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