he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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