so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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