Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
