I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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