After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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