i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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