I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS