im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax