just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"