Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...

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  (714): It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks... http://tfl.nu/l4e9
  Replies (2) Good night (1068) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.

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  (212): They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning. http://tfl.nu/4eyl
  Replies (3) Good night (1394) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.

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  (209): AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now. http://tfl.nu/g0pf
  Replies (22) Good night (900) Bad night (3172)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  From behind she looks like Richard Simmons

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  (608): From behind she looks like Richard Simmons http://tfl.nu/z6dn
  Replies (7) Good night (451) Bad night (3167) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.

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  (604): she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me. http://tfl.nu/s0lh
  Replies (73) Good night (1139) Bad night (17418) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...

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  (469): HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers... http://tfl.nu/21iq
  Replies (12) Good night (616) Bad night (2897) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??

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  (919): Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ?? http://tfl.nu/0nsh
  Replies (54) Good night (1169) Bad night (4492) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.

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  (517): dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it. http://tfl.nu/4nb9
  Replies (19) Good night (1637) Bad night (4159) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...

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  (612): new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself... http://tfl.nu/71kr
  Replies (35) Good night (1544) Bad night (6504) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls

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  (954): im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls http://tfl.nu/n5en
  Replies (13) Good night (6867) Bad night (949) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate

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  (832): im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate http://tfl.nu/io2z
  Replies (20) Good night (1175) Bad night (3289) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .

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  (+44): Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning . http://tfl.nu/qry6
  Replies (13) Good night (3520) Bad night (1275) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.

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  (403): Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good. http://tfl.nu/eqb8
  Replies (10) Good night (3139) Bad night (716)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.

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  (202): His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together. http://tfl.nu/je6r
  Replies (7) Good night (1167) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  "Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.

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  (512): "Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me. http://tfl.nu/6uta
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (240) Order T-Shirt

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