So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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