wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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