What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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