i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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