White coat. Heels.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
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Man, jail baloney is awful.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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