it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
