it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
