bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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