Texts From Last Night

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?

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  (434): did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace? http://tfl.nu/alh3
  Replies (1) Good night (926) Bad night (969)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.

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  (763): I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year. http://tfl.nu/q074
  Replies (10) Good night (1001) Bad night (3720)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it

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  (360): my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it http://tfl.nu/8lil
  Replies (12) Good night (4834) Bad night (1001)
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  (310): View more from California

  thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!

  (1-310): View more from California

  you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?

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  (310): thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee! (1-310): you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right? http://tfl.nu/vyk6
  Replies (30) Good night (12047) Bad night (1439)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.

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  (262): Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta. http://tfl.nu/1aj3
  Replies (29) Good night (6637) Bad night (1235)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.

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  (623): Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth. http://tfl.nu/v51o
  Replies (17) Good night (1121) Bad night (3335)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything

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  (609): I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything http://tfl.nu/1m1m
  Replies (11) Good night (2165) Bad night (670)
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  (805): View more from California

  I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life

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  (805): I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life http://tfl.nu/x15r
  Replies (22) Good night (1116) Bad night (1798)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.

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  (901): ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon. http://tfl.nu/tiqj
  Replies (4) Good night (1458) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?

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  (586): Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right? http://tfl.nu/hfcq
  Replies (2) Good night (570) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.

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  (904): As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now. http://tfl.nu/x89u
  Replies (6) Good night (721) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car

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  (469): I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car http://tfl.nu/2mv3
  Replies (2) Good night (345) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.

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  (206): I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night. http://tfl.nu/ej36
  Replies (1) Good night (734) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.

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  (514): Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon. http://tfl.nu/0uk6
  Replies (3) Good night (587) Bad night (188)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on

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  (857): I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on http://tfl.nu/aaoi
  Replies (1) Good night (200) Bad night (75)

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