Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
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im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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