what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
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I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse