Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.

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  (616): Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up. http://tfl.nu/sgel
  Replies (132) Good night (1341) Bad night (30281)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm watching ellen!

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show

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  (615): I'm watching ellen! (1-615): just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show http://tfl.nu/chlu
  Replies (12) Good night (11480) Bad night (1582)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.

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  (717): I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top. http://tfl.nu/bct2
  Replies (8) Good night (3759) Bad night (868)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.

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  (954): Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America. http://tfl.nu/l7qb
  Replies (11) Good night (3481) Bad night (1134)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.

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  (703): Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night. http://tfl.nu/f2qw
  Replies (8) Good night (3698) Bad night (1010)
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  (585): View more from New York

  i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?

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  (585): i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair? http://tfl.nu/daid
  Replies (32) Good night (10889) Bad night (1171)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.

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  (952): I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants. http://tfl.nu/m7ij
  Replies (10) Good night (2483) Bad night (1318)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story

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  (816): If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story http://tfl.nu/6mc2
  Replies (6) Good night (979) Bad night (1436)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

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  (615): Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ? http://tfl.nu/0u6g
  Replies (5) Good night (2218) Bad night (927)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.

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  (630): Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head. http://tfl.nu/xpy4
  Replies (9) Good night (2193) Bad night (1056)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.

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  (330): It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights. http://tfl.nu/79ia
  Replies (4) Good night (1983) Bad night (697)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea

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  (907): Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea http://tfl.nu/9w6p
  Replies (6) Good night (335) Bad night (607)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.

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  (785): That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA. http://tfl.nu/53zt
  Replies (4) Good night (1419) Bad night (413)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon

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  (306): just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon http://tfl.nu/m55k
  Replies (1) Good night (697) Bad night (288)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.

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  (412): It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression. http://tfl.nu/o4mu
  Replies (3) Good night (773) Bad night (325)

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