Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today

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  (508): well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today http://tfl.nu/xvys
  Replies (0) Good night (686) Bad night (1921)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.

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  (253): Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it. http://tfl.nu/s7pq
  Replies (15) Good night (635) Bad night (3636)
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  (858): View more from California

  Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.

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  (858): Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star. http://tfl.nu/4wpn
  Replies (27) Good night (2901) Bad night (685)
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  (328): View more from

  im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?

  (1-328): View more from

  anal.

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  (328): im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is? (1-328): anal. http://tfl.nu/bglg
  Replies (33) Good night (5806) Bad night (1487)
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  (916): View more from California

  I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule

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  (916): I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule http://tfl.nu/z9ak
  Replies (8) Good night (3978) Bad night (566)
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  (530): View more from California

  I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.

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  (530): I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother. http://tfl.nu/6hsn
  Replies (9) Good night (2576) Bad night (1130)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.

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  (218): nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip. http://tfl.nu/8hgr
  Replies (5) Good night (1691) Bad night (622)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina

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  (770): i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina http://tfl.nu/n7ey
  Replies (5) Good night (644) Bad night (1356)
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  (562): View more from California

  it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats

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  (562): it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats http://tfl.nu/6ylt
  Replies (2) Good night (863) Bad night (493)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade

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  (954): You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade http://tfl.nu/kpha
  Replies (4) Good night (1012) Bad night (540)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.

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  (812): You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard. http://tfl.nu/0j3h
  Replies (9) Good night (1419) Bad night (515)
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  (408): View more from California

  I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"

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  (408): I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all" http://tfl.nu/dl7h
  Replies (1) Good night (1101) Bad night (321)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake

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  (815): I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake http://tfl.nu/t4t1
  Replies (4) Good night (1057) Bad night (329)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time

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  (803): If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time http://tfl.nu/10i6
  Replies (3) Good night (943) Bad night (298)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that

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  (774): He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that http://tfl.nu/j7eg
  Replies (1) Good night (671) Bad night (270)

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