Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i used baking grease as lip gloss
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best