I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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