i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
