it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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