wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Ladies don't puke and tell
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
