fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
