I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Your cock deserves a montage
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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