One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
