I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
