i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
